My grievance against piropos

Men are by nature pigs.  My sincerest apologies to all those who try so hard to suppress this side of them, I just let the cat out of the bag.  I realize this a total feminist statement, but today you just can’t convince me otherwise.   You can’t walk down the street here without some gross man whistling at you or calling you out. It’s disgusting. I know that this happens everywhere, not just here, but some cultures are more discreet about it, or they look but don’t actually say anything.  

I remember in Spain one of our female professors was explaining this concept to us, she told us never to acknowledge the “piropo” because that would imply that you are interested. It would also probably scare them, they wouldn’t really know how to react if a female responded to their advances. It’s also just kind of something that guys do, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re actually interested in you. She also told us that we would miss it when we returned to the U.S. and walked down the street without being whistled at. I didn’t believe her, how in the world could you miss this blatant disrespect? It’s not like you actually like it when they do it, it’s completely opposite for me, I despise it. However, in some sick twisted way, she had a point.  When you go back to the States and suddenly realize that no one has hit on you for awhile, it kind of does some damage to your ego. Since you’re coming back from a culture where it is so common, it’s almost a criticism if you don’t get whistled at. There’s a good example of reverse culture-shock for you.  So, both are bad: You hate it when happens, but when you go back home and it doesn’t happen, you initially wonder “Hey, what’s wrong with me?” After a few weeks, however, it passes and you are immensely grateful for the fact that you can go for a run down the street in peace without being harassed.

Like I said before, you get used to it, you adjust your behavior accordingly. For example, here, I try not to walk around town in a tank top and thus draw more attention to the fact that I’m light skinned, which is the main cause of my problems. I also try to cross the street when I see a group of men walking towards me or if there are a group of men just hanging out. And I stare intently at the ground as I walk by, as if I’m deeply fascinated by the gum on the ground. At the very least I avert my gaze.   This is not in my nature. I hate staring at the ground when I walk. I feel like I’m being forced into submissiveness.  I like to look people in the eye and smile and say good afternoon.

I see a man over 13 years old and I immediately get a feeling of dread. The way they look at you, I feel like I should go to confession for them. They give you the once over, looking you up and down, you can practically see the drool forming when they smile at you. But it’s not a nice polite smile, it’s a friendly smile, waaay too friendly. It gives me the urge to go take a shower and get rid of that filth. Or they pucker their lips and blow you a kiss as you pass. I want to take those lips and pull them up over their head. It doesn’t really matter what you wear. I’ve worn sweat pants, baggie shirts and had my hair in a bun and I just can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with these guys. As a side note, there are plenty of women who do flaunt what their mama gave them. I’ve seen tons of women here with such low-cut shirts that it’s kind of funny that they even bother wearing the shirt in the first place.

You get used to it, you ignore it, you don’t say anything when they do it and gradually your reactions become less visceral and more tolerant. But then there are the really disgusting ones that just don’t take silence as answer, these are the ones that just keep bugging you and whistling and calling you out and trying to speak English which consists of “Baby I love you, baby come here.” These are the ones that really piss me off, they just don’t stop even after you’ve passed them. Usually I ignore them and just clench my hand into a fist as I walk by with my head down. Usually. Sometimes I just can’t take it.  “What, you want a piece of me??? How about I give you a piece of my mind!” Insert head shake and finger snap for an emphasis in attitude. Okay, so I’ve never actually done the head shake and finger snap, but I’ve always wanted to.  I have some anger issues. I get so mad that often my words come out incoherently, it happens in English too.  I know, it’s not very Christian-like, but neither are their thoughts. Of course, I don’t scare them; they get a kick out of this, much to my chagrin.

But here’s the dilemma, my catch-22: if you don’t greet someone as you pass them, it’s rude. If you look a man in the eye, he’s more likely to whistle or pucker those lips. Not everyone is going to hit on you, but some will. Also, it’s a small town and there are a lot of people that know me from church or the hospital, even though I don’t really know who they are. If I don’t say hi to these people, that is incredibly rude and word passes that the American is stuck-up and anti-social. So as you can see, I often get myself into trouble. I hear someone say hello and I look up and smile.  8 times out of 10, it’s a bad decision.

I couldn’t resist, I thought these were both perfect quotes for today. It may be the first time a Roman philosopher and a rapper are quoted together, but I’m an equal opportunity quoter.

You can tell the character of every man when you see how he receives praise.
-Seneca

Passion makes the world go round, love just makes it a safer place.

-Ice T

"T", over and out.