Growth (A window to the outside)

I never wanted to work in an office.  I'm by no means claustrophobic, but the thought of working in the same room, from 9-5, day after day, never seeing a new view,  made me depressed and anxious. There had to be more to life, one couldn't possibly be fulfilled with this monotony, I thought.  That's one of the reasons of I chose to study Global Health. It's very name inspires thoughts of adventure. I wanted to travel from place to place, getting to know local cultures and make a difference in their life, or at the very least their health. I envisioned myself living in a grass hut and  sitting cross legged around a fire outside, holding a ceramic bowl filled with the local food staples, tangled hair tastefully stuffed into a wool beanie to hide the fact that I haven't washed it in a several days, and sharing stories with supportive and friendly locals.

In the 16 countries I've traveled to, never once have I done that. The closest I've come is sitting on a small stool inside a tiny adobe kitchen in rural Peru and eating an unrecognizable watery porridge with a mother and her infant daughter. She struggling to speak Spanish, (Quechua was her first language) and I shivering to stay warm by the adobe stove at 14,000 feet elevation, ignoring the fact that dried cow dung is the source of fuel for the fire.

Now I work in an office. I have a modern desk, a computer with two monitors, carpet on the floor, and meaningful art work hanging on my walls. I can even control the temperature of the office.  I never imagined this would be my life so early on. But it is. I unintentionally chose this life when I made the decision to return to the U.S. and gain more work experience. Don't misunderstand, it's not that I don't enjoy it. On the contrary, quite frequently my days are filled bustling to and from program sites. During a single day I can converse with the big wigs of the university and provide information to a Spanish speaking mother of 4 who is in need of resources for her children. I can dress in a business attire in the morning, only later to change into running shoes, shorts and a t-shirt to oversee our soccer program for low-income kids. I am eternally grateful for this variety, it makes me feel fulfilled.

Yet still, when I see my peers and friends traveling to foreign countries, I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. That was supposed to be me. I should be getting close to fulfilling my dream of traveling to 30 countries by the time I was 30. Now I'm at a standstill and that feat seems unlikely.

But still, I'm reminded that there is a time for everything. I was fortunate enough to get many experiences early in my life, now it's time for me to learn another skill: how to stay put in one place longer than a year and a half, how to be a good boss, how to manage successful programs, how to be assertive in an awkward meeting, how to fix the temperamental copy machine.... These are all very useful skills. My time to serve overseas will come again, one day.

Sometimes I can't help but smile when I sit in my office, God knew I didn't want to work in the confines of 4 walls. That's why he gave me an office with almost 2 floor to ceiling windows. Even when I'm in the office, I can easily see what's going on outside.

And so, as I become more comfortable with this role I've been given, I want to take on a new goal:
Prove that serving locally is just as adventurous and (much more) admirable as serving internationally.

Wish me luck and stay tuned for adventures from the "concrete jungle".

Tuna fish, out.